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None of Your Business

It’s none of your business if I’m wearing a bra
and if you see my nipples poking through my shirt.
It’s on you to be an enlightened being
and to understand that women’s nipples
are not shameful or even outright sexual
the same way that ears aren’t, even if
they can be in certain situations.

It’s none of your business when my body
wants to be free, nor is it an invitation
for you to gossip or stare.
I’ve heard them say and say and say
“men can’t help it,”
but they can. Anyone can refrain
from making people uncomfortable
if they behave with kindness in mind
rather than selfishness. The same goes
for women. We have all been trained
by the patriarchy to judge women
for showing skin, to automatically interpret it
as sexual, to feel threatened by it, as if
we’re in competition with one another.
We don’t have to be.

It’s none of your business what I do
with my body. If I’m promiscuous
or reserved, if I’m naked or not,
if I take selfies in my beautiful moments
to take a piece of my loveliness with me
to darker moments, to later ones.
If I share them, perhaps it’s because
I want attention, or perhaps it’s because
I want attention from myself.
Either way, it’s none of your business.

If me showing my body offends you,
excites you, disgusts you, that is on you.
You can unlearn the oppressive
behavior of slut-shaming and
“boys will be boys.” You can
and you should. Do you realize
that “boys will be boys” is
just another way of saying
boys can’t help but treat women
disrespectfully, and that’s ok??
It’s not ok. If you disagree then
at least admit you do not follow
the philosophy of freedom
as an inherent human right
and would feel it was justified
if someone took your freedom
away from you.

My body is my business
and my business alone.
Your behavior and judgment
about my body speaks oceans
only about your character, your dignity,
your grace. It doesn’t say anything
about mine.

Sun, Dec 8, 2019 | Model info | Footnotes
Arehua asked me to write "none of your business" on her because it sucks having people stare and oogle and whistle and judge when you decide not to wear a bra or when you're wearing "revealing" clothings. When you make a decision about what to wear for your own reasons (and it doesn't matter what they are), it is no one's business but your own. And making people uncomfortable for that is not kind behavior. If you can see someone's nipples because they aren't wearing a bra and that offends or attracts you, know that it's not your business, so you should stay out of it. Nipples are not inherently sexual just because they are sexual in certain situations. Ears can be used sexually, but no one is saying everyone should cover up their ears. We pee out of our vaginas and poop out of our butts too, you know. All of our body parts have many purposes.   Anyway, when Arehua asked me to write this on her, I decided to turn it into a whole poem, because it's a very real topic that needs to be continuously addressed until actual societal changes are made. And changes like this are made at the micro level to start. Change your own behavior, and a domino effect will ensue.   I could go on and on, but I think I made my point.

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