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Tangerine Bones

your whole life
it means something
while you’re living it,
isn’t that enough?

Sun, Jun 23, 2019 | Model info | Footnotes

We’re always looking for deeper meaning, for reasons things happen, for a way to “make an impact,” to leave something meaningful and memorable in the world after we die. The noble cause is to make the world a better place for those who come after us, but there is a lot of ego there too, wanting to leave a legacy of ourselves behind. Even though if you’re like me, an atheist, spiritual or not, you don’t believe in afterlife, higher beings, or god.

And I think not believing in those things for so long, for my whole adult life and more, has led to me really cherish what life is while I’m living it. It has brought me to exist so much in the moment, to be mindful of existence while existing in the small scale, the day to day. I appreciate that my life means something while I’m living it, and it is enough. What brings meaning to my life? Connection. Creating things that matter right here, right now. Feeling deeply. Awe. Laughter. And love, you know, and all the things that come with it. Your whole life, it means something while you’re living it, is that enough for you?

This is a line from a poem called "Tangerine Bones" in my poetry coloring book Seasons of Yourself. It’s about all that I just wrote about, inspired by someone I love so much, who has brought meaning and joy to my life since the moment I met him. I wrote it on Renee during the celebration party for the release of the book earlier this year. It’s one of my favorite poems I’ve ever written.

I edited it with some cosmic, otherworldly vibes, because that’s how I feel when I think about these things. That we are able to create so much energy in the world of our lives with the people that care about us, that is so significant. It matters. I highly recommend reading this poem in its entirety as well as all of Seasons of Yourself, for traveling through your own mind, for relaxing, for creative stimulation, and for excitement in the brain. Coloring along with the poetry helps to increase rumination, a positive force where poetry is concerned. 

A big thank you to Renee for being my canvas in the public setting where this episode was created, and also to Renata for her beautiful bodypainting work as well.

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